Fill up your cup of life
As I’ve maneuvered my way through the world these last four years, I find that when you are your most genuine SELF you allow room to meet those who belong in your life. The problem is that there are also so many things that get in the way from a person being their most genuine SELF, such as one's attitude. As in the book Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch, attitudes that promote actions sponsored by fear: insecurities, ego, loneliness, hate, and jealousy are the greatest blockades of the genuine SELF. But when you commit to the acts sponsored by love: trust, compassion, kindness, generosity, and gratitude - you open room for those who choose to be on your same wave length and ride with you.
The question is "How do you bring out your most genuine self and stay there?" This last year has been one of the toughest transition years of my life. I nearly broke as a person and was a shell of myself. I look back and ask what happened? I can sit here and write about all the reasons why, but really, it comes down to a simple conclusion... I wasn't able to do the things that CREATE ANDY. A little back story is that I started graduate school for a Nurse Practitioner degree at UCSF. My school schedule was so rigorous that I fell out of balance. I no longer danced, surfed, ate well, nor exercised. No longer socialized nor saw people. I sat in this box I call my room from morning to night and studied. I drained the life out myself.
I used to think I was invincible, that no bad could affect me. I grew very thick skin being an intensive care unit nurse and developed a coping mechanism that was almost in denial of the bad parts of life. It was all well when I was alone and when things were good, but I found that I wasn't able to truly connect with people at times and even became un-empathic. I found that this type of thinking left me defenseless when times got rough and I was by myself. The silver lining of this last year was... I learned the healthiest way to cope with the bad times is to balance out my life more and do the things that fill up my void; things that CREATE ANDY. I also learned that I'm so much stronger being around people who care about me, who make me laugh and want to be a part of my life.
Life is great as an individual... but it's so much better as a team and a community...
Looking forward to the next school year, I ask myself "How can I be better?" That's a great question. I've decided to spend this summer free of obligation, free of things that will deplete me and involve myself with situations that will fill me up. I'm recording them to my best genuine ability on the archive page. So do check it out... I'm filling up my cup of life...