Enculturation Podcast Episode 1: The Day I Woke Up Different, An Asian American Story

I started off the new year of 2022 kicking it off by being featured on Enculturation Podcast’s very first episode with host Katya. I was honored to talk about my book, The Day I Woke Up Different and growing up Vietnamese/Asian American.

I hope you tune in.

I AM NOT YOUR MODEL MINORITY

Almost 5 years ago, I had just graduated from graduate school. Emotionally charged, balling my eyes out that I had just broke through all the chains that held my family back for generations of poverty, oppression, and war.

I felt as if I was standing up on top of a mountain cliff looking down. The ancestors shinning on me with pride--carrying the honor of the family name. No royal lines, but I felt like a King. I had made a promise to my grandmother before she passed and now I had positioned myself to do just that.

During these times where our community is being attacked for never having done enough for a society we didn't build, but had our resources taken from to fund, yet never had a say in.

To society in every direction we turn to, it feels as if we will never be enough, but it is in ourselves we must see--we have been there the whole time, just invisible to everyone else. WE ARE ENOUGH. No longer shall we adhere to everyone else's demands because when we demand equality, we're just get shut up, laughed at, and told how to behave with rolling eyes. No.

No, we are not your dolls. No, we did not ride on your backs and we are no longer your model minorities. Hear our stories.

https://18millionrising.org/2016/08/andy-nguyen-ab1726.html

JUST DOING MY JOB: The Everyday Heroes


Marvel created a Super Heroes Nurse comic during the COVID-19 pandemic. Reading and seeing this gave me the feels and nostalgia of my time in the ICUs at the bedside. As healthcare providers, our story doesn’t often get told and seeing this issue made me so proud of the stressful, and at times, underappreciated and thankless work we do.

The best gratitude someone could give us health care workers though is trust and doing your part to ensure you upkeep your health and safety, as well as your family’s and communities.

Stay safe and one love yall!
Nurse Andy

https://www.marvel.com/articles/comics/marvel-and-ahn-team-up-to-celebrate-nurses

https://read.marvel.com/#/labelbook/56132

https://read.marvel.com/#/labelbook/56132

YEAR 2020: ANG ARRIVES

2020 has seemed like an apocalypse foretold.

Morning of September 9, 2020, Oakland, California in our loft studio

Morning of September 9, 2020, Oakland, California in our loft studio

California wildfires raged early this year. These natural occurrences to our forests and land came at the end of August and into September—a month sooner than previous years in comparison. Unfortunately, the fires were escalated by a family’s gender reveal party gone wrong—igniting a catastrophic forest blaze and adding fuel to the areas that had already been devastated. The skies flooded with dangerous smoke and falling ashes on September 9th, the atmosphere inserted a red visual filter, colored with nature’s anger as if mother earth wasn’t happy with us. Oakland’s air quality index (AQI) measured at 230+. The air was difficult to breathe. Feeling heavy and my lungs smoldering internally, I sat there worrying for my pregnant wife who is soon due to birth our son.

The most alarming part of the wildfires is that in the year’s past, the fires had been contained to NorCal and northern parts of SoCal. But this year, the whole west coast was scortching. Evermore proof that climate change is real and global warming is an undeniable problem caused by our human footprint.

September 9, 2020. Hazardous air quality levels along the west coast.

September 9, 2020. Hazardous air quality levels along the west coast.

As the outside world is turbulent and angry, inside our doors have been harmonious and loving. We’ve been sheltering-in-place for almost a whole year, nesting and setting up our loft to be baby ready while staying safe out of harm’s way.

Our home has been our sanctuary, providing us with the ability to still operate through the events of 2020. The wildfires were an added insult to the brutal start of this decade.

2020 Work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic.

2020 Work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The nation was already on edge due to the COVID-19 pandemic overwhelming our fears from the a deadly virus, economic strains of sheltering-in-place, and people losing their jobs as businesses shut down. Globally, the deadly virus has killed almost 1 million people and over 200k US citizens. Many of which are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. The United States has become ever more distant and the political polarization of racial divisions are ripping us further apart.

On May 25th, 2020, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, a cop knelt on the neck of George Floyd for 8 minutes and 45 seconds—suffocating him to death during an arrest. It was a prime example of systemic racism and the world felt the sickening shock waves of racial oppression. People were fed up with the tragic murder of so many black men, women, and children by racist cops—protests started as riots broke out. It was the perfect storm for looters and opportunists to covertly scheme while peaceful protesters took the blame by a political side eagerly wanting to divert the responsibility.

Here in Oakland, we were at the heart of the protests, riots, and looting in the Bay Area. Our Jingletown loft sits not far from where the Black Panthers were founded in the 1970s, and today in 2020, the civil unrest continues in the area. With peaceful protestors being engaged by riot police while the opportunist seizes their chance to inflict damage on property and stealing, it has led to uneasy sleep—often with one eye open—keeping surveillance for any unwanted guest with some nights being visited. Rarely did the police show up when we called, and when they did, it would often be too late, leaving us tense and fearing that someone would get injured, or worse, killed during a robbery. Through it, there has been some positives with social change, awareness, and legislative progress.

Let’s hope the good continues and the negatives stop.

2020 Black Lives Matter Movement

2020 Black Lives Matter Movement

A photoshoot for Hyphen Magazine with photographer and fellow nurse, Vi Son Trinh, on Asian American Healthcare Workers during the COVID-19 pandemic and Black Lives Matter movement.

Much like most of our activities this year, the photoshoot took place at our home loft which essentially has been the primary setting of 2020. Though we haven’t gone anywhere this year, our home has remained happy and we’ve made good use of our loving space.

August 26, 2020. Gee & Scout sitting in our Oakland loft

August 26, 2020. Gee & Scout sitting in our Oakland loft

While nesting, a look back on July 4th, 2020 at our self-shot Bootleg Maternity photoshoot done in front of a green screen and makeshift home photography studio. Jungle Asian American Heroes theme inspired by comedian Ali Wong. Gee is just about 29 weeks pregnant with Ang in the womb.

September 13, 2020, the day before Ang’s birth, the air quality index continued to show unhealthy values here in Oakland and across the west coast. I worried about taking Ang home in these poor conditions, whether my wife, Angie, would be okay, and hoping that Ang’s delivery would go smoothly. The goal was 3-in and 3-out. I don’t think I slept a wink that night.

Ang was born September 14, and things went as smoothly as they could. Both baby and mother came out happy and healthy. Miraculously the air cleared up, and the AQI dramatically improved the night of his birth, staying pure.

September 15, 2020 the air quality miraculously improved

September 15, 2020 the air quality miraculously improved

Ang’s birth cleared a lot of heavy energy that was weighing down on me. The fears of a deadly virus. The anxiety flooded from friends and family looking to a health care professional for some answers that I don’t have. The economic strain of our community. The health concerns and maneuvering around to safely perform our daily tasks. The health of my wife. We went into the hospital under terrible atmospheric conditions with my lungs heavy. But when I saw Ang, healthy and strong, along with his mom, nothing else mattered, and I was able to breathe deeply and clearer. Much like how the skies cleared up on that day. I hope those are good signs to come…

9.27.2020 - Oakland, California. Family photo

9.27.2020 - Oakland, California. Family photo

READY. RISE.

On stroke of midnight’s pass, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t shut down my mind with anticipation. I wrote this early morning before Ang was schedule to be delivered through caesarean section. With the COVID-19 pandemic and wildfires of California burning, the air quality index (AQI) was a hazardous 200+. There were so many factors increasing my fears. At the same time I was eager to meet a happy and healthy baby with my beloved wife.

Ready for the Rain
And the Phoenix
To Rise from the Ashes

Ready for the Birth
Of a New and Better

—Andy A. Nguyen

UPDATE: Ang is home safe. That night the air quality improved after Ang was born and the AQI went from 200 prior to Ang being delivered to 8 after. Thankful to the ancestors and Air Quality gods!

FIGHTING THE CURRENTS AND WE RISK DROWNING

If we were to speak about COVID-19 as a wild river with deadly currents, and the infected patient is one that is drowning—without proper skill and especially without proper gear, we wouldn’t ever recommend anyone jump in to try and save that drowning person. Because at that point, we face having maybe 1 or 2, or maybe more of those rescuers becoming victims of drowning to the wild currents themselves.

However, with proper equipment, skill, and personnel, that initial patient drowning may be saved without endangering the lives of the rescuers. And further more, if those who must cross into the river currents are recommended flotation devices, vehicles, proper equipment, and protective clothing, shouldn’t we also adhere to the same standards when applying safety measures to the wild currents of COVID-19, a deadly virus that can cause pneumonia, another form drowning?

By this his logic with the state of our systematic handling of COVID-19—to protect our patients, rescuers, and people in our communities, we must heighten the standards in which we require all people to adhere by when crossing paths with this deadly virus. Standards of masks, safe isolation structures, medical equipment, space to home the sick, food and fluids to nourish, and vehicles to transport.

COVID-19 can be loud or a silent killer. It does not discriminate. Young, old, healthy, sick, preconditions, or none. We are all at risk and it will be a marathon for us collectively to make it across the roaring COVID river.

In order for us to be successful during a crisis, we need the Captain at the helm to be compassionate instead of one who refuses to listen then slashes away at their fellow people who are voicing concerns, fears, and realities. We as the people need transparency and we need humility. To steer this ship to safety, what we need right now is steady supply and leadership.

4th WORLD PRESS presents The Day I Woke Up Different

For two long years, my cousins, Thi and Phuong Nam, and I hid away in our own personal creative laboratories across three cities (Oakland, Portland, Seattle) between three state lines (California, Oregon, Washington), meeting periodically together primarily through virtual conferences, and on rare occasions when the stars aligned with the three of us, in-person.

We voltron’d our talents collaboratively and created an illustrated children’s book about our experiences growing up as a Vietnamese-American. I, as the writer, Thi, as the illustrator, and Phuong Nam, as the piano composer (to the song in the video below). But in order to publish the story, we needed to find a publisher. Would we have to sacrifice parts of our story that may make others uncomfortable? Would we have to sacrifice monetary reward? How long would it take to get our story published? Would publishers even entertain our story?

So instead of taking the chance of being denied a seat at the table, we decided to bring the table. Thi, Phuong Nam, and myself, created 4th WORLD PRESS, a family publishing company.

4th WORLD PRESS is an independent family-owned publishing press. We are excited to announce the release of our first story, "The Day I Woke Up Different." Th...

The Day I Woke Up Different is a story about living between cultures of the traditional Asian-American household and outside American society, identity, and self-acceptance through the eyes of a Vietnamese-American child.

Though the three of us worked tirelessly, it was also through the help of our beloved community that helped us bring this dream into reality. We’d like to thank our community form the bottom of our hearts. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that we could produce such a meaningful book with a message we are so proud to share with the world.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON. THE CYCLE REDEFINED.

Growing up my father had two jobs:

1.) Manufacturing technician

2.) Janitor/Mall chef

None of which were his dream jobs. He did advance to the level of a supervisor at one point. Which, he had always been the type lead. As I’m coming towards my 35 revolution around the sun in a week. I look at my self and essentially I have two careers as well.

1.) Nurse Practitioner

2.) Author/Publisher—small business owner

Unlike my father, I am living my dreams. When I reflect both on my own journey and my fathers, it’s uncanny how many similarities, yet differences there are. It’s like I’m my father in an alternate universe, which, essentially is what a child to their parent is—isn’t it? DNA imprinted in a different time.

My father is brash, a strong man, and intense—I am soft-spoken, kind, and stoic. While we both share characters of intuition, leadership, boldness, and grit. I like to think that I am the future version of what my father worked so hard to create. I’d like to think I took his good traits, and worked away his lesser.

For my future children, I can only hope the same, that some of my good traits will be passed on, while the lesser valued ones will be over come or it’s cycle broken.

I am my father’s son—a newer version, but at the same time. I am my own man.

JA Camp Co-Director

Juvenile Arthritis Camp was held from Jul 15 - 19, 2019 this year. We had around 50 campers and about 30 Volunteer Staff.

Juvenile Arthritis Camp 2019 Campers and Volunteers

Juvenile Arthritis Camp 2019 Campers and Volunteers

This year I had the honor of serving as Co-Camp Director with my mentor Quoc, who has been the Camp Director for the past 5+ years. This would be my 5th year volunteering. I’ve been volunteering with the camp during different phases of my professional career. First starting with my last days as a Registered Nurse, both summers as a Student Nurse Practitioner (NP), then Rookie NP to now with several years as a provider under my belt.

Co-Camp Directors, Quoc Du, NP at Stanford Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital and Andy A. Nguyen, NP at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland. Jul 19, 2019, Livermore, Calif.

Co-Camp Directors, Quoc Du, NP at Stanford Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital and Andy A. Nguyen, NP at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland. Jul 19, 2019, Livermore, Calif.

FUN FACT: Quoc and I were childhood friends from Portland, both NPs, and of Vietnamese ethnic background. It’s pretty dope to have a brother whom I can not only look up to and learn from, but also do great work alongside.

This would mark the 3rd Dance Therapy Workshop we’ve done at camp, led by myself and my life partner, Gee, who is not pictured. This year was unique. We decided to switch it up a bit and teach New Style Hustle, a partner-social dance, and slid in little messages of consent and breaking gender stereotypes. Whether the messages will be effective or not, who knows, but at least we can try to do our best with whatever means we have to help influence these kids towards the highest human frequencies of acts sponsored by love.

Notes from Gee and Andy’s 2019 JA Dance Therapy Workshop

Notes from Gee and Andy’s 2019 JA Dance Therapy Workshop

The reward is witnessing the growth and process of these kids who come back year after year. It is a means for the kids to have fun, discover themselves, and find their positive light. You may also say the same for us volunteers.

AndyGee2B til' Infinity

We got married! Here’s a look back through our journey…

April 30, 2018
While in Paradise

We were on the Aina during one of Gee’s work conferences. I surprised her with, “Will you marry me?”

She answered, “No no No No, Wait, Yes!”

How ironic that on the 43th anniversary of the Fall of Saigon April 30, 1975—this product of war (Me) was able to propose to the love of his life while on the Aina at the Diamond Head Hike?

At least I was able to get one ‘YES’

Here’s how we told the world…

May 6, 2018
Engagement Announcement in Hawai’i


Although raised in America, the two of us are rooted from Southeast Asian countries holding many similarities and differences. Culture is important to us and figuring out how to seamlessly interweave our roots together not only helped us become more self-expressive as individuals, but also with our union.

September 23, 2018
Engagement Photos by Soh Tanaka: An ode to our culture’s warrior heritage

Vietnamese Military Jungle Shirt x Philippines Modern Terno with vintage Tribal Patterns

June 27, 2019
Wedding Photos with Briana Gardner: Cross Cultures

Viet Nam

Ao Nam and Ao Dai

Philippines

Modern Filipiniana Terno Jacket x Modern Long Barong Tagalog

Viet Nam x Philippines

United States of America

Classic Western Three Piece Suit x Modern Terno Jacket with Western Jumpsuit

July 6, 2019
Wedding Day

Looking back to my previous August 2015 post, I wrote about the lessons learned on Family after hitting rock bottom during my Master’s of Science/Nurse Practitioner program.

I wrote:

“If I want to do great things in life, I realize I first must start with a strong foundation. My own great family. One can go about their life alone just fine when the times are good. However, when the times are bad, having a solid and happy family gives you a place to run back to. A place you can re-energize and recharge.” - Andy A. Nguyen, August 2015

If I could expand on that thought, I’d say it’s first My own great SELF and then My own great FAMILY.

I never imagined those realizations then would soon actualize thereafter.

“I realize that in life... I'm going to need my best friend by my side, where... when the going gets tough and if we lose everything, we don't lose ourselves. A life where it's a constant celebration and all we need is simply love, laughter, food and shelter. That's what I want my home to be…” - Andy A. Nguyen, August 2015

Around Christmas of 2015, I quickly crossed paths with my life-partner, and the following February, we began our journeys together months later—connecting through both our pisces birthdays and shared passions for health care and dance. When Gee and I first started dating, we lived out of the tiny room I rented. She was paying for our groceries and gas while I was surviving school. Although, we were broke and had nothing, it still felt like we had everything. Each other and Scout.

Growing up, my childhood home was a chaotic place, broken, and striking fear. I never experienced what it was like to have a loving home. But now, after 34 years of life, for the first time, I found home…

Enter the Zion

From May 16, 2019 to May 19, 2019, nine of my closest lifelong friends gathered at Zion National Park in Utah to celebrate my send off from bachelorhood into marriage.

My brothers from Portland represented my childhood chapters, “Golden Nugget: Neighborhood Glue Guy.”

Team Wood

Team Wood

Portland, OR

Pictured Left to Right:
Porn Master, Gold Nugget, AJ, Garfield

IrResponsible Soul

IrRESPONSIBLE SOUL CREW

Portland, OR

Day Day & Nuggs

and my brothers from SoCal represented another pivotal period, “The Rebirth of Self: Oxan the Ambition,“ after I moved out of my hometown, Portland, to Southern California.

SOL Tribe

SOL Tribe

Los Angeles, CA & San Diego, CA

Pictured Left to Right:
Aaron Kwesi, Jbueno, Houston the Solution, Oxan, Tetris, Melly Fojazz

How ironically and symbolic that I now currently live in the Bay Area, which is in the middle of the pack, and the one the link in the chain between the two groups. It was surreal to see my two coalitions Voltron together and unify to form the force, Bu Cru.

During our trip we shared a sacred Cypher, appropriately, at the Court of the Patriarchs.

Actual song playing during cypher: Marissa Guzman + Andy Toth - Like A Feather
We do not own the rights or licenses to the music. We absolve ourselves of all liability. All use is strictly for non-professional entertainment

Most of the weekend I was at a lost for words—feeling such fulfillment and joy. It was humbling to see all the guys genuinely get along and vibe. To have my Portland and SoCal crews seem as if they had been friends all along, whether I was part of the chain or not, made me feel as if I had the right people in my life. It showed me that the energy and character traits I surround myself with, my closest confidants, flowed through each person within my inner circle. And that inner circle projected the energies of love, humility, grit, growth, and service to the greater whole. The saying goes, “You are the makeup of your closest 5 people,” and I had 9 deep right there with me along with others who couldn’t make it but were there in spirit.

Brotherhoods Representing in the Cypher

  • Bu Cru Camp - Styles of Eon, SOL Tribe, Team Wood, IrResponsible Soul, The Stories We Carry

  • Dancers: Oxan, Melly Fojazz, Houston the Solution, J.Bueno, Tetris, Day Day, Aaron Kwesi

  • Supporting Cast: Porn Master, AJ, Garfield

  • There in Spirit: Vinh SOL, JoRawk, Darick, Vi Son

One can only hope, the characters in this life story will continue throughout each other’s lifelong journeys. The completion of my Bachelor Trip was another chapter arc that ended, and thus, also the start of a new one: Marriage.

Camp Milagros 2018 makes ABC News

Camp Milagros: Juvenile Arthritis Camp 2018 made it on ABC Channel 7 News. Among many things to be proud of this year at camp, near and dear to my heart was holding our second Dance Therapy Workshop. The workshop is a program that is part of a research proposal I developed during grad school at UCSF (University of California, San Francisco) . It is truly fulfilling that I am continue this journey and I very grateful for Quoc Du, my mentor and life long friend—who has done so much for me, and to my partner, Angie 'Gee' Covita, who helped co-developed the workshop structure, and also, inspires me with her mastery at teaching kids.

Here's the segment dedicated to our campers and the Taylor Family Foundation.

To read the full article click on the link below:

Oxan the Ambition

Oxan is a symbolic image of a spiritual beast. The head and body of a Wood Ox and the tail of a Pisces Fish, who stays unrelenting and calm amongst the chaotic wind.

Neo-tribal style engraved to represent my birth on American soil with the ancestry blend between the indigenous Malayo-Polynesian kingdom and Bai Yue tribes of my Vietnamese roots.

Oxan the AmbitionBody Art by Leo Malaya @ Soul Signature Photography by Vi Son Trinh Location: House of SOL @ Oakland, California

Oxan the Ambition

Body Art by Leo Malaya @ Soul Signature
Photography by Vi Son Trinh
Location: House of SOL @ Oakland, California

Healing through Nursing, Street Dance, and Storytelling

 
IMG_1164.JPG

Nurse Practitioner.

Street Dancer

Portland Born and Raised. Oakland Rooted

After work one night, I met up a fellow Vietnamese-American friend, Vi Son Trinh. Raised in the Bay Area, and now currently attending Nursing school in Portland, Vi’s passion for photography and story telling can be found on IG account: Vi Son Trinh .

On his account he captured my personal story. "Portland born and raised, and now working as a Nurse Practioner here in the Bay Area. Aside from healing patients through his nursing care, Andy heals through his passion for street dancing and story telling."

After decades of climbing what felt like an endless mountain to find myself. I feel as if I've reached a sort of mountain top that overlooks the great beyond. The view is surreal at times, and I often think to myself, "I can't believe I'm really here." But what is achievement if one is there alone? “No man is an island.” Now that I've built a path up to this vantage point, I feel a responsibility to help empower others like me to reach the summit. Through Nursing, Street Dancing, and Storytelling, hopefully the universe will allow me to climb the next mountain in order to extend the message...

I am but a humble servant...